When you understand how to dance, it can be the greatest feeling in the world, but learning and overcoming yourself can be a struggle. All fun aside, learning to dance is not only a physical challenge but a mental challenge that is not made easier with comments from the peanut gallery. Take these hints about what not to say to your dancing partner:
If you are the follow: Your partner is not trying to confuse you on purpose, but they may not be sure of the best way to lead that step, especially if it’s new to them. Saying something like this only makes your lead feel dumb, incapable or disinterested in dancing with you again.
The Politically Correct response:
Similar to above, if you are the lead: This could be a new step for your partner. So go easy on them. The last thing you need is to have your partner think you are some kind of jerk!
The Politically Correct response:
Nobody is purposely trying to go off time. Typically timing issues occur when people take their attention off the music and put it on some other move or technique they are attempting to master. But if dancing off time is like nails on a chalkboard, here are some options.
The Politically Correct response:
Newsflash, most people (especially guys) are stiff when they are first learning to dance and this may come as a bigger surprise, but, they already know they are stiff. So the reality in telling them they are stiff is not helping and if they knew how to not be stiff they would be more relaxed, so don’t grab their arms and force them to loosen up. In the history of dance, that technique has a 100% failure rate 100% of the time.
The Politically Correct response:
Please refer to #4 and replace stiff with robot.
To a dance partner and/or life partner, this is pretty much like saying my ex-lover was better at that than you. Comparisons are a killer, so avoid them like the plague. Plus, chances are your teacher lives, eats and breathes dance, which means he or she has been doing this for a while and is passing on information and should not be your lead’s competition.
The Politically Correct response:
This is the leads version of #6. Comparisons can kill a partnership not only on the dance floor, but also in life.
The Politically Correct response:
When couples compare themselves to other couples, it’s a recipe for disaster. You don’t know how often they take lessons, how often they practice, or if they came in with previous dance experience. Again, this can ruin the dance experience for you and your partner.
The Politically Correct response:
This often happens because what you are focused on does not happen to be what your partner is focused on. So when your partner forgets something that you just learned, it could be because they are focused on many other things.
The Politically Correct response:
This is probably the worst one to see as a teacher. When a person who normally understands what the teacher is saying, has their partner repeat word for word what the teachers has just said, this makes a person feel like a child. So unless your partner is a child, leave the teaching and critiquing to your teacher.
The Politically Correct response:
You came in to have a good time and are now armed with an even better approach next time you have a dance lesson. The next time you are on the dance floor, you can feel more supportive and enjoy learning and dancing with your partner.
What are some things you have said with good intentions but came out wrong and what was your politically correct solution?
Keep dancing!